The Beauty of Partnership

 Ok, ew that title is just kinda cheesy but I felt like it was the most well-fitting and appropriate. 

Since becoming pregnant I've found myself reflecting on relationships and people a lot more. My relationships will change a lot in the next year. In the same way that you lose a handful of close friends when you get married, I know that my relationships with people will change once I have a kid. Why do I anticipate this? Well because we've already had to opt out of so many opportunities just because I'm pregnant. Furthermore, I personally, have distanced myself from other people who have kids. Haha, I will fully admit that once I have a friend get pregnant, I just have slowly drifted from them. I don't like children and now it seemed like me and that friend were just in completely separate stages of life. So yes, I have discriminated against my mother friends. But navigating two different stages of life is just hard. No one wants to invite the couple with a new born to a weekend getaway in Vegas, nor do they want to go. No one wants to invite the couple with a toddler to dinner, it's messy and distracting. And I understand this. I whole heartedly get the unattractive nature of bringing a very dependent individual along with you wherever you go. So I've been mourning the loss of friendship I will experience with having my first kid. 

Now that won't be the case with all my relationships, I know that my running friends will remain the same. Especially because more than half of us are already moms and we see each other at the wee hours of the day when children are sleeping anyway. I love that about my running team, they are a wonderful constant and some of the greatest friends I have ever had. 

Likewise, I'll get to see my parents more. I am thrilled about the lure that is having a grandchild. My dad is so excited too, which just makes me so happy because that man travels for no one. Unless it's Disney world, he's low-key a total Disney adult... (which is so funny because my mother has devoted her career to dismantling narratives like Disney princesses.) 

Anyway, with all these realizations I've been having, it's been nice to look over at Josh. Having a spouse/partner is a really special thing. The latest realization is that Josh is the only individual that I have chosen to be family with, for my entire life. You don't chose your parents, you don't choose your siblings and you certainly don't choose your children. But you do get to choose who you do all those things with. Isn't that beautiful? So although this is something really hard and difficult for me, at least I get to do it with the person I chose and who chose me back.